


You know, I never wanted it to end like this

by Aria10191



Category: Ender's Game - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, End of the first book, Gen, Lots of Angst, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-20 23:10:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19386376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aria10191/pseuds/Aria10191
Summary: Ender's thoughts at the end of the first book.





	You know, I never wanted it to end like this

**You know, I never wanted it to end like this.**

I never wanted the beginning. I never wanted any of it. If I had wanted it… good question, what would have happened then. Most likely, none of it would have happened. But there was no chance for that, no chance at all. Because you wanted it to happen, didn't you? Of course you did. Now, it's not surprising at all.

**You know, I never wanted it to end like this.**

A human can always gather his pieces, you thought. That I will be strong. I will bear it. I was enough to live until now. Are you happy?

**You know, I never wanted it to end like this.**

All broken people start to think after a few years, when they are almost whole again… If it was me who did it, if it was me, who made it end like this, then what happened exactly? How is it possible, that I didn't turn back in time? How is it possible, that I never realized what a transparent fraud is this? And then they realize, that they will never gather some pieces of themselves. But they can play, that they are whole, just like the children play war.

**You know, I never wanted it to end like this.**

But what was the end, and what was the beginning? Where did I get the chance to stop, to make it end differently? Is it possible, to stop the flood, or it will destroy everything anyway? Is it possible to be born for only one reason? What does a weapon feel, when it kills someone? I believe, it feels sorry for the victim.

**You know, I never wanted it to end like this.**

I gathered my pieces. I made a mistake… I never realized, who deceived me. I was a gun that fired, but was utterly destroyed in the shot. I was a river that broke through the dam, and flooded the city. All goals had been fulfilled, we worked and we payed. The universe doesn't like tied matches. At some cost, all games must be won.

**I know. You wanted it to end like this.**

**GAME OVER**


End file.
